Friday, August 1, 2008

Who am I and why do you care?

who am i?

I am culture clash incarnate.

I am Bluestreak, thirty-something, American desert rat that ended up in Southern Spain by a series of random events (crushing fist of fate). Living in Spain used to seem like a big deal, but now it is just la vida. Besides the fact that everyone can tell I´m a guiri (i.e. gringo), I mix well and this feels like home. But a big part of me is never at home here (or anywhere, I´m discovering). I started this blog because my mind is usually in a million places and none of them are in the present moment that is this sad, smelly, dark, lifeless, messy, shit hole of a cave I sometimes refer to as "my office", where I usually write from.

One of the main reasons why I live here in Spain is because my husband Luigi is Spanish. We met while I was a study abroad student in 1997. He is wonderful and clumsy and kind and beautiful and sweet and messy and everything he touches turns to gold and wherever my home is, it´s with him. We speak a weird sort of Spanglish and his accent in English makes me purrrr like a kitten.

what do i write about?
Spain sometimes deserves a big kick in the cojones that I am honored to deliver when provoked. But this blog is not about Spain itself, but rather how I deal with the accumulation/rejection of a foreign culture. But there are no hard fast rules here, so sometimes this blog is about whatever life brings my way. It is, however, almost always about me, as if I were the most important human to grace the face of the planet, and as if you cared. What else am I gonna write about?

why do i cuss so much?
When I write, I curse as if my afterlife had been decided when I stole that piece of candy from 7-11. Why? Because I find it fucking funny, and when I need an adjective, noun, or verb, I find them very easily from my list of favorite swear words, and they are the words that are always on the tip of my tongue. I guess you can say it is because of laziness as a writer. Whatever. If you think I curse too much, I´ll have you know that before each post I publish I have to go back through and edit at least half of the swearing out, so I am already making an effort to please the puritan a-holes (edited) that might mistakenly end up here.

readers that know me
If you are related to me via kinship or marital ties I must have given you my blog address during a severe lapse of judgement that probably involved alcohol. Either that or someone else in our family opened their big-ass mouth. In either case, I suggest you re-think your visit here or get ready to be disappointed in me.

If you know me in real life, please have mercy and never mention my blog at any gathering (not like you would), but if you do, I might poison you while you´re in the bathroom to protect my shame.



So that´s me.



-Bluestreak



p.s. if you´ve read this far and you don´t hate me yet, leave a comment, lest I disappear into the vast graveyard of abandoned blogs.

21 comments:

Mexico "Way" said...

"Because I find it fucking funny"

Amen...you and me both sistah!

I always like a good "fucking" or "fuckin" thrown in here and there.

If you don't swear, it's like a meal without pepper if you don't swear. Don't ya think?

Sarita said...

I would never let you get into the big black hole of blogdom because I fucking love you. (HUGS)

Rassles said...

Why would we hate you? You're golden, neverfear.

Rachel said...

I cant wait to see you on Sunday! I know you are ignoring my facebook messages and that is ok. Have a good trip and dont let the inlaws drive you totally crazy!

miss hell said...

i always like a good fucking (stolen from mexico "way"). and i expect a day by day blog of your trip peppered with lots of, you bitches!, fucking A, burning shitballs and the likes. if i notice any less swearing i will unsubscribe, self censorship isn't fucking cool biatch.

Immoral Matriarch said...

Fucking LOVED it.

Mexico "Way" said...

Miss Hell: Can we be friends? I find you to be a bitch and us bitches need to stick together. xoxoxo fucking A.

Formerly Fun said...

You're hilarious, I'll be back.

Maggie, Dammit said...

Awesome.

Bluestreak said...

mexico way - exactly, it's like pepper.

sarita - thanks love, you've always been my most dedicated reader, even with that other blog I abandoned.

rassles - thanks, that means a lot coming from you.

rachel - sorry re facebook, couldn't deal with practical matters related to my trip.

miss hell - you are even too foul-mouthed for me, my dear, but thanks for the kind(?) words.

immoral matriarch, formerly fun, maggie dammit - THANKS, THANKS, and THANKS.

Captain Steve said...

I curse like a fiend in real life, but not so much on my blog. I have no idea why. But I put you on my reader like some weeks ago or some such because of awesomeness, so I will be back!

Kristy said...

I like your blog, and I tell people about it,cause they´ll like it too, and if you try to poison me Ill punch your mother fuckin lights out. You dont swear enough. stop editing. (you coudlnt posion me anyway, my guts are tough from years of vodka abuse - Im tougher than any fuckin russian, trust me)

kate said...

Hmm, I'm not a curser (except when I am, but it's always oral, not written,and I do try to censor myself around the kids.) Unfortunately my 4-year old is such a quick study that he heard me say "Dammit!" in exasperation one day (no, had nothing to do with the kids, why do you ask?) and a couple of months later, out of the blue, I heard him playing with some toys and one said to the other, "Dammit,...." I don't remember the context, but he nailed it. Oops. So enjoy your cursing with impunity while you are still unencumbered...

Just

Bluestreak said...

captain steve - thanks for kindness.

Kristy - you scare me. I don´t know if I want to go to anymore gatherings with you cause I´m scared you´re gonna beat me senseless you fucking crazy aussie.

Kate - as a parent I know I will be doomed to embarassing situations. Not cussing would be like amputating my mouth.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

You're one fucking funny bitch.

Bluestreak said...

awwww thanks florida girl

gwen jackson said...

I love swear words, too, and always incorporate as many as possible into my writing. I think they are funny, when used by or others. I'm not saying I'm funny. Well, I think you know what I mean.

aldybaldy said...

it's true about never feeling at home eh? I felt exactly the same way when I was teaching in France two years ago. Oddly, I feel that way today, back at home, in Toronto. Wow, profound.

Love the tone. Don't mind the cursing.

cheers,

aldwin.

nyGRINGAinCHILE said...

what a great into to a blog. i throw way too many curse words around in my blog. oh and i also would poison anyone for mentioning my blog in public. you write from the dark hole that is your dungeon, i write from the miserable dark dingy closet better known as our "second bedroom" - now that's a fucking joke. so don't bitch too much about your dungeon of an office, it beats my dungeon of an apartment which is all i have since nobody in this fucking country will hire me.

marina villatoro said...

it's funny, everyone hears i live in costa rica and they are like wow, paradise. i'm like, it's life only in a tropical country. i still have to deal with the same old shit. actually, i have to deal with other shit, cause it's in spanish and they are sooooooooo laid back that you want to take them by the shoulders and say wake up. let's do somethign about what is happening!!!!!
i'm a gringa, no doubt, yet i still have people ask me if i'm from here:)
The Travel Expert(a) and an Expat with a Twist

PicklePits said...

Alas, a(nother) woman with a golden tongue. Some would call it 'severe lack of vocabulary'. Au contraire mon frere! I may just name my 4th born, Fucky.

You're in good company, hermana.

k.