Monday, June 23, 2008

This Blog Post Cancels itself Out.

Ok I only have two nouns in my head right now. One is “drag” and the other is the Spanish equivalent, “coñazo”, so I guess I will use arithmetic to get my point across:

Lack of Inspiration +Homesickness +thirty something crisis + identity crisis - living arrangements I am happy with - a job I like = a blog that is a drag to read.

So, nothing has come to me lately to blog about that does not sound like me whining and feeling sorry for myself, and while trying to think of a topic that would be fun to write about, I started thinking about the fact that I blog and it is making me feel anti-blog. It all just irks me somewhat, it just feels so narcissistic. I feel like it is on par with gathering a group of people in a room and orating a speech to them and then waiting for them to comment on my brilliance or at the very least not stone me to death. I would never do that (wait, what am I saying? I did that all through grad school and considered it to be the closest thing to torture I have ever felt).

So why do I blog? I guess it is more for my sake than others. Hey, maybe I like to hear myself talk and am interested in subjects that I would bring up. Come on, do I really think I have something valuable to say to you, the consumer of information about my fucking boring life? Some people blog as an escape from their normal lives. I suspect that such is the case of THIS GUY, probably THIS GUY, and most definitely THIS GUY. Other people I know blog to keep family and friends informed about their lives abroad, posting pictures and updates, which I think is great, but I feel like facebook and my picasa web albums get that job done for me. Besides, I do not need my family members having their suspicions confirmed about how disturbed I am, which is why I like to be at least somewhat anonymous here (ok, so my siblings are allowed here, but if they do not already know that I am somewhat disturbed they must not have been paying attention since, say, birth).

Weirdly enough in light of all of this, I think about ways I can get more traffic to my blog. Why on earth I would do such a thing? Once I had to give an hour and a half lecture on the Sociology of Religion to a SOC 101 class of about 150 college kids, the memories of which are mostly suppressed and the rest are filed away under “Most Terrifying Experience Ever”. So, why would I possibly want a lot of readers? Don´t know, I´m stumped.

Ok, so there it is, a blog post about blog posts. My e-world is going to implode in on itself any second now. I promise next time, dear avid readers, to post on something only slightly more interesting than a pile of rocks but probably slightly less interesting that picking your nose.

I just can´t blog about Spain right now, I can´t even complain about it. Because right now I just want to kick it in the cojones. Sorry.

Artwork from Flickr by scarlet_rose77


karey m. said...

this is HILARIOUS! not the angst and confusion...just the last line.

i understand. i think you just need some time away from the monitor, you know? get recharged and think about what you want your space to be. reinvent. change your background to hot pink. or turquoise. anything.

i think we all go through this at one point or another. but i think your voice is worth it. so chill for a while, don't kick anyone in the nuts...and come back soon.

Theresa in Mèrida said...

I am on a semi-vacation from blogging, not because I can't think of stuff to write about but because once I turn on my computer I seem to get glued to it. I like to read about your life in Spain, it gives me an idea of how Spain compares to Mexico. If it was me, I would write the blog posts anyway because you never know where they will lead, there is no rule that says that you have to publish a post. And there is a difference between reporting a difficult situation and just plain complaining. I missed out on the 30 year old crisis thing because I was in a whole 'nother sort of crisis, the oh,my gawd I am single again but with 2 kids this time sort of crisis.
I hope you feel better, I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

Kristy said...

Dont leave! Even when you blog about nothing your blogging is fun to read! I like it when you are pissed off! A Shirley McClaine quote "If you dont have anything nice to say.... come sit next to me" xxx

neil wykes said...

The trouble with having readers is that they'll want you to post. The trouble with posting more than you'd really like to you have to start writing about things that don't interest you. Write too little and people think the blog is dead.
It's one of those annoying things. Just like schools being ruined by the near obligatory students and hospitals being full of sick people.