Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Less Elitism Please.

Am I on acid right now? Thoughts and words be flowy melty collidy happy rollercoastery flowery...oops I´m all forgetty-sprinkled.

Dumb it down for me, girlfriend (is that sexist?), I’m not following. When you speak it’s like this guy:

This elistism must be stopped.

Dear Senator John McCain,

I am writing to urge you to rethink your choice for V.P. running mate. I’m a regular American, a Main Street American, if you will. I find that Sarah Palin exists on such a superior intellectual plane that her nuanced thought bytes convolute in such a way as to surpass any normal person’s ability to comprehend such highly complex analytical theses. Her interview with Katie Couric was more difficult to understand than Kierkegaard and Heidegger´s Ontology of Existence.

Maybe this is because my dumb-ass received its formal education in YOUR STATE. Yeah, you remember, the one that ranks 50 in the nation "on factors including expenditures for instruction, pupil-teacher ratios, high school graduation and dropout rates, and reading, writing and math proficiency".

Please can you choose someone else or ask her to please dumb it down so the non-elite can follow her highly complex thought processes? Or you could just ask her not to drop acid before her next interview.

Yours Truly,


P.S. Eat shit.


Xbox4NappyRash said...

oh wow.

I've seen lots of that interview, but that was the first clip I saw of her 'view' on the bailout.

She reminds me of your average 'the apprentice' candidate.

Anonymous said...

NICE comparison to the Fred Armisen character. That woman frightens the crap out of me.

perplexus said...

Can you dumb it down? I dont get it.....Ha ha

Bluestreak said...

xbox - I haven´t seen the Apprentice but I can imagine...

prayingtodarwin - yeah, she frightens me too. I was gonna say to McCain "eat shit and die" as the expression goes, but maybe I should have said "eat shit and PLEASE DONT DIE".

perplexus - I´m assuming only the best here, that I don´t get what she´s saying cause I´m retarded.

Rassles said...

I think my favorite Sarah Palin quote now is from Bill Maher, "America has finally found someone dumber than they are...I don't wanna say she's a ditz, but last night my stripper's fake name was Sarah Palin."

neil wykes said...

Sweet Baby Jesus!

Maggie, Dammit said...

God help us all.


A Free Man said...

The good news is that we may be seeing the absolute collapse of the McCain campaign. Fingers crossed.

Bluestreak said...

Rassles - I think we actually found someone dumber than Bush in politics, which was REALLY hard!

Neil and Maggie, Dammit - Yeah I´m praying out loud right now too.

A Free Man - that´s what I think, but then I remember that Bush was reelected and then I just need a shot of whiskey.

Calamity said...

You asked for it.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but isn't Heidegger's basic premise...'Chop wood, carry water'?
Somehow...I don't think she could figure that out.
I can just hear THAT answer:
"Um...er...in the forest there are trees and water sometimes and there is this chopping sound that, when I'm carrying water, I completely support and that's what not letting anyone have a right to free speech or carry water or the right to choose."
Dumb bitch.

Anonymous said...

Gawd--if I had a moose gun I'd shoot if off right now in celebration of this post. Hysterical.

Bluestreak said...

Calamity - thanks!

theCusp - perfect example of her elloquence.

hereinfranklin - hahahaha, thanks! I should just delete my commentary and record gun shooting. No better yet, Palin should just shut up and fire a gun whenever asked a question in an interview.

Bluestreak said...

it would have the same effect and be just as articulate.

Fned said...

I am literally laughing my ass off (no LMAO shit either! the real deal!)

The two videos were great, one depressing the other hilarious but both great in driving in the point: SP is a moron.

BUT YOUR LETTER was the icing on the cake!


P.S. Couldn't sit through the debate. My stomach couldn't take any more winking.

miss hell said...

i just get the feeling that SP is being used (by the government) to cover up bigger more pressing issues and us americans love to make a spectacle of our government so as to not actually deal with our true problems. its like a carnival, bring out the freaks!