Monday, August 25, 2008

Bullshitting

Today I opened my closet and put on one of those Halloween costumes. One of the many that I have that are nicely pressed that scream "I´m responsible! I´m avoiding fuck-upery today!" Then I glared at myself in the mirror. Bullshitter. I didn´t even pretend to consider to wash my hair because I couldn´t think of any compelling reason to do so. One last glance in the mirror before leaving. Yup, that´s what I usually look like. Yup, you´re just your same old self. Can someone smack me in the head, I mean...pat me on the back, cause that took a lot of work?

Almost my entire adult life has consisted of me waiting to be summoned to a meeting by my bosses/grad committee/ family/ whoever, where they sit me down and say "Uh...we´ve been reviewing your file...and...our data indicates that....you´re full of shit".

Today when I get off work, I´ll go home, and put my big girl panties on (or are they my fat panties?) and I´ll roast a goddamn chicken, cause that´s what I´m supposed to do. This is who I am. Then I´ll go to the gym that I´ve been paying for for god-knows-how-many-months-without-going because I´m supposed to fucking go and I´ll take my frustration out on the treadmill and if I´m lucky, I´ll zone out and not think about how much it sucks. Then I´ll go home and go to bed really early and hope that gets my mind anywhere but where it is now, with the weight of bullshit responsibility.





But don´t ask me not to smoke today or I´ll smack your ass down.


-Bluestreak

"12 Thanatos" by rent-a-moose from Flickr.

14 comments:

Kristy said...

dont bake no fucking chicken! Lets go have a vino! xxx

Bluestreak said...

goddammit Kristy this was supposed to be one day of non-debauchery. Whatever. I have so much confidence in my ability to restrain myself, see? Fuck it. Where should we meet?

Immoral Matriarch said...

I was going to tell you not to smoke because I thought it said 'I'll smack your ass' but then I saw the 'down' part and now I'm not going to say anything at all because I'm scared.

Captain Steve said...

I snorted chocolate milk at the "roast a goddamn chicken" part. Enjoy your smoky treats.

karey m. said...

argh! i've GOT GOT GOT to catch up over here! i feel like i've missed too much!

damn it. looks like i'll be here awhile. don't be alarmed if i'm still poking around at midnight. it's just me.

ghost of keywork said...

Yeah, the chicken part got me. Here's a suggestion: Tired of doing something 'just because'? So was I. Know what I did? I snagged a couple of ankle monitors and now I do things because I 'have to or I'll go to jail for 90 days'. I'm not suggesting you do what I did. But try out the thought process. 'I have to roast that goddamned chicken or I'm going to be incarcerated'. I'm a little fucked up in the head. Hey, if you don't mind, snag that icon and whore me out, I haven't been to New York in years.

Bluestreak said...

immoral matriarch - I know I shouldn´t threaten my readers.

Captain steve - I plan to enjoy them, thankyouverymuch.

Karey m- whew, I didn´t lose you.

Ghost of Keywork - that´s a tactic that had never crossed my mind, to be honest. I need to get me some of those awesome bracelets and then just force myself to do shit.

ghost of keywork said...

You don't even need the actual anklets, you could make your own.

prayingtodarwin said...

"I'm avoiding fuck-uppery today." I love it. I think I'm going to have it printed on business cards, hand them out, unsolicited, like those "deaf" dudes at mall food courts. 'Cept I won't ask for money.

But I do so love that phrase.

Bluestreak said...

Ghost - I would need help with that. I would want them to electrocute me to help modify my behavior.

Praying to Darwin - that´s a great idea.

ghost of keywork said...

I know, I was pretty disappointed that mine aren't rigged to do that. The one on my left vibrates every half hour. Wish they had strapped that one somewhere else.

miss hell said...

you know what!?? you need to stop stressing out so much! sounds like you live in the US, have you just exported that lifestyle to spain!??? thats just plainly immoral for godsakes!

Bluestreak said...

ghost - aaaaahahaha. You can strap something else on, doesn´t have to be a house-arrest-anklet. I believe you can find a range of items online for your vibrational needs.

misshell - I know. I´m an idiot.

aoc gold said...
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