Thursday, August 14, 2008

I think I'm back from holidays

Wow. I thought that two weeks of combining Spanish in-laws with my own family would have meant loads of inspiration for writing. WRONG.

Combining two parallel universes that have never been combined has made me question if I haven't disappeared into some existential void, the two worlds canceling eachother out. Can someone confirm this?



Really, the lack of inspiration is because every seed of a thought was brutally filibustered by the mental rape that is my parents constant gibbering. My mother does not seem to understand that people who live in a harmonious society have conversations in their head all the time. These conversations are called thoughts. When and if said thoughts are deemed valid, they pass through a vocal phenomenon and are manifested in what is called speech. My mother, however, has confused thoughts and speech and all thoughts pass through the vocalization process, rendering me helplessly incapable of dealing with life and wanting to head-butt the nearest saguaro. Maybe I spend too much time alone and am not used to other people talking to me for hours on end. My stepdad on the other hand, is slightly more tolerable to listen to at length, only because his endless monologues tend to have a thesis, albeit a fuzzy one loaded with contradictions (for example: "everyone on welfare is lazy" can inspire in him an hour long rant until he finally comes up for air, to fill his coffee mug as if more stimulant were required).

I'm probably exaggerating a little, and being horribly unfair to my sweet family that just hosted my non-English-speaking-in-laws for two weeks. But everything felt magnified when suddenly all of this gibberish I normally half-listen to, half-pray I didn't just hear, had to be processed into Spanish in my brain and then spewed back onto my unsuspecting in-laws in their tongue, which meant I had to listen to the shit three goddamn times (once in all its original craze, next inside my throbbing head, and thirdly out of my own noncompliant mouth after a weed-out-the-most-crazy-element selection process was made).

If it hadn't been for the paradisiacal island of Kauai to balance out the verbal anarchy taking place around me, I don't know if I would have made it back in one piece.

So, I'm back (I think).


-Bluestreak



Photo: "Rhizom-E-ros ≥ Mimesis.Catharsis ²" from Flickr by jef safi

14 comments:

Rachel said...

aaahahahahahaha!!!! Carl and I are cracking up over this one!

Rassles said...

That is fantastic--I never thought about how translators have to listen to everything three times. It's hilariously valid. I might bring it up at bars.

Sweet Spikette said...

I love this post. This is my life. I have been there. hahaha

Bluestreak said...

rachel - good, I thought you´d be mad when you read it.

rassles - yeah, I have pretty much decided I´m never going into interpretation for that very reason.

sweet spikette - thanks, glad to know i´m not the only one out there!

Formerly Fun said...

I realized after my last trip home that when you live further from the family that raised you, you lose some of their traits(good and bad). When you return, they probably haven't changed that much but all their idiosyncracies are totally magnified. For me it drives me nuts and then makes me even crazier because I know I'm like that too, just less so. I always return feeling like I need to go back to therapy. Nice post.

Immoral Matriarch said...

"Really, the lack of inspiration is because every seed of a thought was brutally filibustered by the mental rape that is my parents constant gibbering."

Dude. That sentence was the best sentence ever. I don't know why I loved it so but I did. I'm weird.

Mexico "Way" said...

, "which meant I had to listen to the shit three goddamn times",

That was my favorite sentence. It made me FEEL your pain.

prayingtodarwin said...

I gotta go with Maria on this one: having one's parents' chatter compared to mental rape is just too perfect. Nice work.

Bluestreak said...

Formerly Fun -definitely my thoughts on returning from home: I NEED THERAPY.

Immoral Matriarch and Praying to Darwin - thanks. I thought the mental rape sounded a bit harsh but decided to go with it.

Mexico Way - I know you feel my pain. you understand this shit.

miss hell said...

our mothers are too alike and i got one more month to go! I WILL NEED therapy after this torture/"vacation".

Bluestreak said...

miss hell - hang in there, I´m with you in pain. Get your ass back here soon.

RT said...

Rachel......

Notice that My Blue Streak didnt obsess about her feeling and took it out on others?

She was happy to be home.

Blue: How were your burritos, baby?

Bluestreak said...

RT - I was damn happy to be home but it was a little different with in-laws in tow. Goddammit, didn't get a chance to have burritos. Fuck.

Rachel said...

I didnt know that was Ryan leaving those comments!!!