Thursday, September 18, 2008

Echinacea? Is that what I need to be taking?

I need to lighten up, I´m told (thanks miss hell). So I did, literally. Like the new light blue, instead of the blackness? It might betray how I really feel though, but I´m trying to not be a whiner, I swear. I might even try to post on something happy and light soon. If I can come up with some fucking material.

In the meantime, I´ll point out further flaws of mine.

My walk down memory lane got me realizing I can´t remember jack.

One of the things about ageing, besides saggy boobs and WTF hairs, is you begin to surprise yourself with how that heavy sonofabitch sitting on your shoulders stops functioning at optimum levels.

I saw a good friend of mine a few months back and we were reminiscing about a disaster trip to Mexico we once took on a whim over spring break where I wrecked my white pick up truck. Damn, how I loved that truck. It was perfect for denying people a ride and for claiming not to be able to drive because I couldn´t fit everyone in it. It was a pain though, in the help-every-goddamn-person-under-the-sun-move-their-shit sense.

Anyway, back to my lame-ass memory: I remember having three days of crazy fun typical of two semi-single twenty somethings in Mexico with the truck I had promised my parents I would never, under any circumstances, take to Mexico. Everything was going well until the day we were supposed to leave. We ended up at the bar and had the genius idea of staying another few days. So we headed for the ATM to withdraw probably every penny to our miserable part-time working names and on the way there were involved in an accident. The other "car" if you can call it that, was like someone´s science project and probably contained pieces from 100 different junk yard cars. They were driving down the wrong side of the road and slammed into me, almost killing me. But no, I´m alive.

No injuries.

No deaths.

No Spanish.

No, those were not just beer bottles you just threw into the back of my pick-up.

No, Señor, I do not want you to impound my car and take me to jail. Por favor.

FUCK.

I don´t know how the hell I got out of that mess. Seriously. I don´t remember. And I didn´t even remember that the other guy threw the beer bottles into the back of my car, and that the woman "helping" us by translating tried to steal my camera, until my friend reminded me of it when we were reminiscing about the story. I´m wondering how much more of the story I don´t remember. Did I have to have sex with anyone? No, I´m sure I didn´t. I do remember begging a police officer at the impound for my keys and somehow getting out of Mexico that very night, barely making it across the border before it closed.

The weird thing is, it´s not that I can´t remember because I was drunk. I remember remembering the story. And now I don´t remember it.

Nor can I remember names and faces anymore. I just went to Detroit for a family reunion/ Grandpa´s 100th B-day, where I had to have one of my cousins whispering other cousins names into my ear before they walked up.

To further prove my inability to remember shit, I just lost a $400 bet with my husband because I thought Lorraine Bracco (Tony Soprano´s therapist) and Debra Winger (Terms of Endearment) were the same person. I also thought Tobin Bell (from Saw) was Freddy Krueger (or Robert Edmund, as he´s known in real life).

$200 a pop lost on those bets. Whatever, he can send me a bill. And then I´ll light it on fire. If I can remember what it was for.

-Bluestreak

25 comments:

jen @ J&J Acres said...

I have a horrible memory too! I'm always trying to convince Mr. C that this actor played in that film and he corrects me. Although I've learned NOT to make bets when we're talking about stuff like that.

I'm even bad about watching movies and not remembering who is who.

It's horrible!!

miss hell said...

bad memory or selective memory? :P
you know i love your rants keep the bitching coming soon i'll be there and YOU KNOW i've got an ear full to hammer out!

Brook said...

hahah how funny is that... Mexico scares the SHIT out of me... I'll never take my car there... last time they tried to steal my dad truck plus all his motorcylces.. they are nuts... and now since they can't take "bribes" they are cutting off "white peoples" heads... great... lovely... VIVA MEXICO!!!

Bluestreak said...

Jen - I´m the worst.

miss hell - selective, for sure. Can´t wait to see you.

Brook - Mexico scares you? It´s not really nuts. I think I was actually the nutty, irresponsible, ignorant, Spring-Breaker freak in the story. Things seem crazier when you don´t speak the language and at that point, I didn´t. And in the end I managed to get out of there unscathed with my impounded vehicle (although I don´t remember if I had to pay a hefty bribe, but if memory serves, I never had much money so wouldn´t have been able to). I have no idea about cutting off white people´s heads things, but I know it doesn´t represent what Mexico is like at all.

Kristy said...

you had a pickup truck? well you posted before that you really were a redneck and I didnt believe you but now Im not so sure....

Bluestreak said...

Kristy, yup, that´s why I used the label "suspicions confirmed, I´m a redneck". That freaking truck ruled.

Jul said...

Funny story!

I think Echinacea is to strengthen your immune system, no? If you find it working for your memory, though, let me know! I've been forgetting all kinds of things lately...

Bluestreak said...

jul - shit, you´re right. It´s Gingko Biloba I need to be taking. That´s where I´ve gone wrong. Oh well, at least my immune system is rockin.

kate said...

I have a crazy inability to remember stuff, too. Really. Like, don't ask me anything about a book or movie I've seen, because chances are, after a couple of months, I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about it, even if I really enjoyed it and totally immersed myself in it at the time. And stuff that happened in my own life? I remember very little of that, too-- it's almost scary. That's why blogging is nice, in case I ever want to remember stuff.

As it happens, I am good at memorizing buttloads of information I need for short periods of time, like to take a test. Which, as you can imagine, comes in very handy. But I swear, if I had to re-take the test a month later, I would undoubtedly fail, even if I aced it the first time around, which I usually do. This basically means that all the shit I'm learning in my classes right now, even though I often find it quite interesting at the time, pretty much disappears right out of my brain after test day, which is a sad commentary on university studies in general. Or maybe it's just a sad commentary on me. Oh well.

Immoral Matriarch said...

My memory sucks ass as well - usually for real life things. But I can give you a detailed synopsis of a Three's Company episode I saw 10 years ago if you remind me of the basic plot line.

Weird like that. *LOL* @ your bet. How could you think that???

Fned said...

hahahah.. I can totally picture your trip to Mexico in that white truck... and I even have an hypothesis or two of how you might have gotten out of that one cuz I had similar shit like that happen to me and my friends back when I was living there...

Memory loss? Fuck, that happens to me all the time... hubby calls me the girl with the Teflon brain.

Whatever.

Fned.
P.S. and the white guys with their heads cut off? They were narcos... no need to explain further I guess... :s

RTL said...

Yo, Blue. Its RTL. Matt and I were with you for a night during that trip. I know that Rockey point is fucking Cancun with high rise hotels and shit.

My story from the same week in Mexico. Matt and I are partying with you and the Philly and then we split up. Matt and I drink Tacate and people watch. Then he goes somewhere. Matt gets dosed by black guy in dreads. he's a white guy with dreads(and from the richest suburbs in the Mid-west....north Chicago) I get doused too. Dont remeber how?

So....Matt, me, blue, and philly are on the beach at 3 am. Some kid comes up with a baggie of T.P. and green flakes that may resemble contra band. $40 he wanted. I good laugh was all we had for that shit.

10 minutes later....

The federalis stop matt and I and when they reach into matts pocket, magically that bag-o-bullshit-T.P. with flakes appears. Cop palmed it, and took it out of Matt's pocket. "NO TENGO NADA NO TENGO NADA" cubs fan yelled. They searched us and Matt was $10 lighter when we left.

We were up all night from the drugs but as soon as the sun rose, we drove back to AZ.

You had your pick up accident a day or two later.

Now that place is like Cancun I hear.

Hey Zues Kristo.

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bluestreak said...

RTL - see, those are the kinda details from the trip that I needed. Those ones had all been clouded over by the accident, but that was also entirely too fucked up. I do remember getting back to McGuilty´s house and you bastards laughing your asses off at my crushed up truck. A-holes.

Rachel said...

You know what I remember? that you took your truck to that little repair place in ghetto mesa and they let you post date checks to pay for it. Mom never even knew you were in an accident and she didnt have to pay to have your truck fixed. That place was awesome! They helped me out like a year later when I slammed my car into your truck in the driveway, and needed body work done. LOL

Bluestreak said...

RTL - what the hell is matt up to anyway? is he coming to New Years?

Rachel - Oh my god, I completely forgot about that too. You slammed into my truck and the insurance agency said that two people on the same policy couldn´t have an accident together with two separate cars and have it covered. What kind of morons get into accidents with their own family members?

Rassles said...

These are the best fucking comments ever.

Bluestreak said...

Rassles - yeah, that´s what i get for giving out my blog address to people that actually know me and remember all the stupid shit I´ve done.

Rassles said...

Hey, at least they read it. I give out mine to friends and they're all, "what's this for? so I should like, read it or something? but you already told me on the phone."

Bluestreak said...

rassles - yeah when i tell most people about it they get a vacant, cloudy look in their eyes, like WTF is the point of a blog. These people must really love me to not only listen to my endless bullshit but also read it.

Rassles said...

Of course they want to read it, it's fantastic.

Rachel said...

are you kidding? this shit's hilarious! Not to make light of your tragic life or anything.

ryan said...

Seeing that picture of your smashed truck brought the entire story back in an instant. Awesome.

Bluestreak said...

ryan - yeah, I was beginning to think this never actually happened and it was just one big nightmare, but having people in my real life comment about it reassures me that I´m not crazy and I did in fact make it out of this surreal situation alive.

Philly said...

I didn't realize that I was referred to as Philly or McGuilty...I was there and I remember a few things: RTL alone on the dance floor in a Mexican Club dancing the 'Shopping Cart' and smacking his own ass over and over. T and I laughing are asses off. I remember Matt saying yo tango nada and hanging out at someones house until the sun came up. Blue: We paid like 80 bucks I think to get the truck after about 7-8 hours of negotiating/freaking out/yelling and crying. We told the Masters of the Universe that if we got out of Mexico that day, we would never return. I never did until my honeymoon, over ten years later.